Tag Archives: soul

Change of my shoe ‘soul’-

5 Aug

My walk has been slow cautious and comparatively skillful today. I have been walking on my toes in these heels. This morning as I approached towards my car to drive myself to work- I took more time not only to reach the vehicle but also to shift my feet between clutch and break. I have been suitably aware that I am cautious. I was wearing flat sole shoes yesterday, I ran towards the car- drove it with a zoom. Yesterday allowed me to be aggressive in my walk and I literally ran up the stairs to reach my desk.
Today- I changed my shoe, changed the height of my sole or should I say ‘soul’, stood taller but all I could actually remember was that I need to be more responsible with my moves- I need to be cautious that tic tac toe of my heels do not make a noise disturbing peaceful walk of other’s around me- I had to be aware that I maintain right distance between my footsteps. Aggression and run accommodated with the heights of these heels might make me fall halting my journey for long, affecting my goals. As and when I raise my height- there comes a risen responsibility, awareness, cautiousness, need for stable moves, pacified aggression, calm steps, maintained footsteps, less noise, expanded view and spectrum-all with a tall affirmative walk.
My toes pain, my heel burns ankles, my knees gruel, my legs shake but I adore the height my heels provide- I adore the raised demands it asks me for!
Tomorrow I wear another set of footwear- I am hoping I walk in heels again tomorrow- that is with affirmation!

Connected with the disconnects

21 Aug

Connected with the disconnects I am
Closest to the farthest of the distances I stand
Protected yet most naked I pose
Strongest in my weaknesses I span
Covered in the sun I feel
Heat of the ice I read
Water of the dry rays I absorb
Silence of the chaos I hear for sure
Thin film of thick black cloud I see
Skin to skin, breath to breath I mean
Colorful in color of black I picture
Not told stories I look for
All conversations feel less and left
All talks, are they for real or fest
All touch, hand mingling, fingers touching
All kisses, stars falling or shining is it?
All clouds dry yet draining the waters it seems
All desert vast yet consumed in the black hole it feels
Connect me with your heart back again
My heart beats have numbed, paused and are faint
World seems like a daunted picture
Words seem like a scream of emotions
Eyes appear like mountain made of questions
My feet on the ground yet no base it’s cumbersome

Let me be myself

19 Aug

No matter how much the waters of the world try to assimilate me, I keep coming back to the salts of my own zone. It’s silky lather on my skin does not let me stay but slip from the general world out there.
It’s a constant fight with my own self to be and yet not be in those waters. Portion of my personality stays there for survival of my day but the only place I get solace and peace is my slippery land of salts.
I try being the assimilated material but my composition turn out to be bit too strong to be broken.
It’s an argument with myself every moment, every night, every breath that I take. To be or not to be the world. I try, I struggle, I slide and I slip, I scratch, I hurt. It keeps reminding me I don’t belong to be the world.
I assimilated in you. I dissolved portions of my core in you. It was all magical and I could not help but glide. I did not slip, no scratch either. I raised from the core.
I fail trying to be the world. I am myself, a small world of salts. It’s porous, coarse on its skin and bitter on some portions. It’s no water. World is water. Mine is salt. I can pretend only as much to be water but if I breath, I do in the salt.
Let me be the water for the bigger world of ocean but with you let me be the salt.
Let me be the crazy passionate stupid emotional yet practical strong thoughtful hardworking soul.
There are faces of me you can never admire but then there are faces of me you cannot imagine with anyone else.
Let me be myself because if there is one challenge I can lose in life that will be ‘pretense’.

‘me being you and you being US’

18 Aug

They won’t let me be your baby, they wont let me get the warmth, they will make me suffer in cold, no matter how much I need your arms.
They won’t listen to the truth of my love for you, they won’t let me cherish the hug, they won’t let me dream about you, they will get envy, they will judge.
Judge me on my conduct but not on my feelings – they will. Love me for my truth, love for the genuine togetherness- you will.
My creativity gets enhanced by your thoughts, my thoughts fragrance with your smiles, my smiles emerge with your voice, your voice it is that makes us bind.
Bind together in this never earlier existing pearl, composing us with petals and rays, droplets of my purity for you, shine like crystals, shine with sun rays.
Mountains so high that I have climbed, range that did not make me wear out, trees that have been my shelter, leaves that have vouched, Vouched for my belongingness to you, pledge for existence of this love, respect for this heart connect, truth of me being you and you being US.