Tag Archives: feelings

‘Run’ life

4 Aug

And you thought you were running the life – you such a fool, it runs you makes you jog then hop then walk and run uphill. There is absolute fair reward system in all this excruciating routine it paves for you. It makes you witness some of the most experiential moments, how gently it puts you in front of a pit and teaches you to avoid it while you are still huffing and puffing with your jog. How skillfully it introduces you to some fabulous joyous moments which you want to keep visiting back while you continue rest of your jog forward. How wonderfully it does not let you look back and if you are persistent still- it puts a hump in your path which you unless jump; shall fall. As you fall, it strikes the ground so hard against your face that you collect all your bruises together to gain the strength of standing up. Then at that moment you start jogging again, this time more gently, cautiously, willfully with little more awareness in blink of your eyes- lessons of humps met with and learnt from so far playing as some soulful songs in your earphone. As you cover the next few milestones, it exposes you to changing paths, fellow joggers, passerby who are running faster than you- some you want to overlook and some you pick to get inspired from. It presents you with this great mix of lot- some bright some dull colors. You look high up at the sky and now it does not seem as high as it was when you started your jog. As you continue the remaining laps- LIFE smiles back at you as it knows you still think you are jogging because you want to but it knows you are jogging because it is making you to.

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Words and all that poem-

23 Jul

A quest for peace versus a will for wants
A love for love and a want for all
A trip to silence and a search for chaos
An urge to write and the second too small
A smile for laughter and a wish to pace along
A challenge so easy and the ease that I don’t want
A feeling of on the toes and a flat footed soul
A twitch of the eye and a prick on the heart door
A time so bound and a time so free
A time so high indeed time of need
A shout so subsided that silence prevails in it all
A silence so dark that night drives in it all
A night so bright that challenges day and sun
A sky so low with earth touching the ground
A feeling bundled up and a feeling so free
A state of contention or a state of being free?

I stand stub

20 Aug

It’s one of those days when songs of my mind are yelling so loud that I want to ignore the songs on my device. My definitions are different. We blame the use of words in our arguments, what we differ in are the depth of our words. Some are shallower than yours and some are deeper so much that they form a black hole. Tonight even my words leave my companionship. I want and don’t want them. I feel and don’t feel like typing all of it tonight. I go back and come back and again go back to the dark corners and lighter windows. Now I stand still without a roof top or structure around me. My boundaries don’t exist as if I am somewhere in clouds or deep in ocean. All I see is immense range of never ending water and ever extending horizon. I feel compelled and then extremely doubtful of typing it all tonight. I am filled and very empty at the same time. Tonight I am living and stagnating. Night claims I am crowded yet alone all by myself tonight and every other night in my life. I stand stub.

Knock knock – Year 2013 Reporting!

1 Jan

Ok done with writing:
‘Happy New Year’
They came running wishing me best for the new year adding subjectivity of the word ‘happy’ to it. Happiness to me is fanciful. That wish of first ‘new’ year and that too ‘happy’ got me curious- how do we assert its a new year? How do we wish it to be a ‘happy’ one? Well by virtue of earth’s revolution around its arena? Scientific and boring! Who really even thinks of that completion when they wish each other ‘New Year’? Why will anyone be happy for ‘Earth’ to complete its revolution on its sphere? Those concepts are forbidden forgotten in science text books. New year- for me what I make unconventional out if it is going to be new and hot off the press and a beginning to another round of earth’s revolution around the planet’s partners of its domain. Just like nature does not claim it to be a new year but just another meeting of beginning and retiring points, I perceive it to be juncture of some crowning learnings, some feelings in swing and revolution, some commencements and strengthening of new bonds, some gestures and mints of fine smiles, with same sun rays, same Mother Nature, same earth, same moon, same feelings and same people around I intend to get new bonds, new heart connects, new knowledge cakes, new warmth, new fragrances and new stakes. I claim it to be a new year for meeting point of alpha and cessation. Happy or Sad is intuitive but yes it is ‘New’.

Burn the Kernel to keep ‘Beautiful’ Life Alive-

7 Oct

As the fragrance leaves the petals and pith of the flower to spread around, it smiles seeing part of it part away only to emerge with tears during the night tears as tiny dew drops appearing on its soft tender skin.  As the ‘pleasant’ wind blows away from its originating nub, making several faces smile with its brush on the skin and through hair, it does not realize that the core was left behind silent, vaccumed, away, alone.  As the water simmers in the bowl only to be dissolved with healthy green tea dried petals, it burns itself to steam and loses its purity emerging as a mixture of green herbs.  As the mountain ranges let ice melt with heat of sun rays, ice which they had held close to themselves for uncontrollable range of time – only to let it reach as purest fresh form of water – water which is simile to life.  As the sun burns its essence and let the ray part away from it forever – only to let the universe shine while it dissolves itself slowly and gradually.  As the paint leaves the brush strands to let itself drain as a beautiful picture – only to dry on unknown sheet of canvas for pleasure of its onlookers.  As the wood let itself to be cut and carved – to be shaped and beautified.  As the chalk marks let themselves dust away from the board only for new words to be written and explained.  As the trees let their darling green leaves dry and shed only to let new season arrive.  As the pages of the book let themselves flip and pressed beneath weight of new pages – just so that learning continues.  As the walls of home let themselves be scratched and scalped recklessly only to be painted with fresh paint. As the waves leave ocean and hit the bay only to keep it replenished.  As the music nodes leave the guitar strings – shaking only to spread the pleasure of music around.   As the tears rolling down the eyes leave them all the more lonely only to give heart a moment of relaxation.  As the blood rushes through veins making heart pump louder and harder – only to sustain life.  As all these observations are made and typed – I learn that most beautiful aspects of life demand – yes not ask or require but DEMAND effort, endless effort, tireless hard work, unrecognizable focus, never ending energy and a never failing feeling of burning its kernel to sustain the beauty and amazement alive.  Keep life alive.

Secrets of Blue world – revealed

2 Sep

Welcome to my blue world.  Its decorated with bright blue lights making light blue sheets of emotions shine.  I snug with these light blue sheets, underneath me and covering me.  They give me warmth and cozy feeling.  The sky blue color chandelier you can listen to – it sings the harmony of my nerves.  It is lightened with the smile and sparkle of my eyes.  Its corner placement in the room does not make it secluded but attracts you to notice it!.  Light blue color flowers with tint of white that you see sitting pretty on the sea blue window frame, they spread the fragrance of this world around.  Freely flowing sea blue color curtains of net kissing the hazy mirror are the veils of this blue world of mine.  They give little hint to anyone about this world.  They hold it free and tight.  Several spontaneously spread cushions of all shades of blue that you adore are the bricks of my thoughts.  That is where my comfort come from and that is why you see such enormous presence of them.  They are soft and tender.  Both on their covers and with their cotton wool stuffing.  Several blue color hearts decorating the wall are the relationships I carry close, they come in all shapes, sizes, forms and shades however all shades of blue and just blue.  Dark blue rag which feels my first step of the morning and last touch on earth at night is the base that sets rhythm of my day.  The day on which it is dusty, my feet get bruised with dirt and there goes my day from blue to red.  That day I get dragged out of this blue world until my bruise stops bleeding and in process of healing turns to navy blue…color of my veins.  Open the doors of my closet, all the gifts in there are the emotions I received back.  I kept their glint intact, clean and secure even from my blue world – separate yet part of the blue world.  That is how precious they are for me.  Don’t try looking at the mirror, I know its curvy petal, rusty blue color frame appeals you making it hard fought to resist but you will be disappointed to gaze at the mirror. All you will see is reflection of deep blue ocean and not yourself.  There is no place for life reflections in this world.  All it highlights is the world around, not you not me.  Well, that is the glory as well of this blue world of mine.  It keeps you comfortable with yourself, all you see is the reflection of the world.  You realize world is bigger than you.  That it is not about you but around you, of you, for you, by you but not you!    Yes – even the cutlery of blue world comes in shades of blue.  I offer you blue curaçao drink in crystal blue wine glass.  Enjoy the minty blue rains while sipping away your drink.  Drink composed of juices of my silent whispers and messages for you.  And while you relax taking journey of my blue world, I offer you steamy soothing blue jacuzzi of my love and warmth.  Take a dip in it and relax.  Stay in the blue world, the journey is divine and fresh – I suppose.

I offer you peace and space in shades of blue.

Freely Flowing Ceaseless Feelings

1 Sep

Feelings should be let out at the very moment of their origination, to the very one for who they belong to, in the extreme intense way they cultivated and gave fruits. Fresh and ripe feelings. They need to be free, like no one, like no example to be compared because they are the limits knowing no limits of freedom. They get rotten, start spreading web of mites inside the heart, plucking away the sensitive delicate tissues, sucking away the fresh blood, thickening the walls of nerves and fading the hot touch of their existence. Irony, they generate inside you however if not channelized to the intended recipient, they rot you. You then smell bad, real trash. It’s like bunch of those flowers which looked so beautiful, pink, orange, white, olive, lavender color flowers- gazing and smiling outside the window and the rising sun – flowers set in a clean glass flower vase. Water of the vase was not changed for a few days and now the same flowers are rotten, they ate their fragrance- giving birth to never acceptable smell. Flowers are same, colors are same but fragrance is smell now and you no more want to keep them in the vase. Remember – it wasn’t the flower but the stagnant water that caused the smell, trash you want to get away from. Runaway, far far off to the garden for new flowers. Get the facts right here- Repeat : It’s not the flowers, it’s the water. It’s not me or you, it’s the feelings. Let the feelings be out, they are delicate to be ceased. They lose their shape, glint and fragrance. They shed the shine and become pale, dark and burnt. While they rot, they damage me and you like we never ever knew. They make us ill, jaded, generating venom in our veins. They make the connect blue, lost, wasted away. It has to be natural, free, flowing, continuous, regular, timeless, endured always. It takes efforts, to keep the flow disciplined. Effort of thyself being the environment for flow of thoughts, always, without a skip of heart beat. One lose end and the rotten holders will egress, with their green eyes. Darkness will then be around, bright sun will look pale like moon, rains will no more be enjoyable, life’s date with death will be decided. It will come to 360•
Feelings and thoughts need endless flow, from sender to the recipient. Beginning to End. Continuous whirl it is. You interrupt it, your strings will get twirled and broken. Ceaseless – that frames it.