The Vicious Feeling

12 Feb

After a while you are going through so much of it that you stop expressing it. Every now and then you feel this sudden urge to talk about it but then you don’t. You do not because you know how many times you have already spoken about it and that it changed nothing. All around you have life of their own. They can absorb your pain only so much and then then have to return back to their chores. You are left to feel it on your own. They can empathize but they cannot feel it for you. Well not as much as you do. That is because its your feeling, Your loss, your pain, your injury. Its you who goes through it and then your creator. Your mother. Somehow mothers feel it for you magically. More than you can feel it for yourself. And then you see them feeling it for you and you want to nudge the feeling away that something is wrong because A. just feeling it all the time does not change anything and B. you don’t want your mother in pain. So for all that you leave it all for a while only to get back to it like a vicious circle after a couple of days or hours or seconds or minutes and this goes on. Question is until when will this go on. That is the question.


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