Archive | November, 2012

I don’t like silence, I don’t like this peace…

17 Nov

Nature has been extremely kind and balanced with me. It has always made sure that I have ample pots of emotions to deal with. It gives me one pot of emotional satisfaction in barter of another pot of emotional happiness. It’s very traditional in its approach- still following the age long barter system. I shifted to this new house with all excitement of spending some time in my balcony- under the sky roof, with birds chirping- me and my books, some light music and preferably silence. That last part of the previous sentence contains a lot of pain. There are forms of silence you do not look forward to- silence of separation, distance and inevitable change. That is the silence I see seeping deep inside my eyes and quite honestly it’s not welcome. It’s a fast roller coaster ride that I witnessed my heart experiencing. I could hardly establish the transition of this ride, from one high sky rocketed height to under the earth deep ground depths. I witnessed my tears struggling, experienced my breath going away, found myself stunned and as I said – that is when I wrote ‘It all starts with breeze turning into wild winds’. The winds churned me with them- I am much shrinker and frozen with this sudden change. Isn’t it always that you know it is coming but what takes you off guard is the way it comes? I always knew the change will come but the shape of it is Huge for me.
As I want to write what you mean to me- I go blank. I did tell you, when I love someone, I make them my idol, I submit myself to them. That is what I meant and that is what I did. With some real uncomfortable times to some precious more than life moments that I shared with you, there was always something great in aroma, gentle in beauty and ferocious in efforts that I was exploring. I could never run as fast as you could but that is what amazed me. Your sprints and what they taught me at each huge leap. You made it so simple and effortless that it was all more than the worth of what I could put in. We are poles apart and that is what gets me to you. An astonishment of total different side of thinking and some more than brilliant thoughts. My learning with you went as deeper as my endless Virgin love. Your aura binds me close and confined in the space I always wanted to get confined. Probably for the first experience of life that I don’t like freedom, I don’t like silence, I don’t like this peace. Love you.

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