Archive | May, 2012

Art and Artists – unraveling the passion

31 May

Rockstar – an Indian cinema movie with story of a boy from regular Indian Capital City household growing to be a renowned Rockstar. Sounds typical? Well to touch the intensity of this movie you want to hear its songs which mellow down in your ears, the nerves of your hearing senses, giving a sweet yet venomous pain, you’ll go in trance like one of those experiences where you absolutely cherish the pain in all your strongest of senses.
Where did all this stream of pain in the movie and the story came from? Where does all the magic of loss and magnetism came from? For long I had a belief or should I call it observation that all those incredibly famous, popular, seek for, amazingly well artists and their troupes have been inspired by the hollowness of their personal life. To have it all in life still to have it missing in life is the most Complicated situation one can be in. Their pain is their strength, they throw in all the fire grasped from their empty pockets of relationships where they can’t and just can’t fit anyone for various reasons. With all the fame and glittery, genuine love stops existing for these souls. Beings around want to be with them for chases they receive in life – from media, followers, public and so on and so forth. In search of a soul mate, their soul starts waxing, filled with tears and cries still drying up inch by inch. Newton’s Law of potential energy proves its theory and existence here. It reflects that each empty space has energy and well quite maybe more than what a composite block has in this case because these empty spaces are powerhouses for these artists. Quite evidently and ironically they are thriving on their art displaying the pain contained which the world likes in their expressions however as they return back to dark corners of home it’s really dark in there with light just this much enough that only their cries, pain, silence, expressions and art is visible. All else including their real self is hidden in this darkness. Their expression is life for mass ironically , cry of being lifeless for themselves.

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Black and White to Colored pictures

29 May

Flipping through a huge bag of old pictures this afternoon, I found them so simple, so sophisticated, so clean, so gray, so black and so white. There wasn’t a third color in them. They were so straight, direct, uncluttered and made aim of their own. They spoke sense with me and were so elementary to deal with. They conveyed to me the days my parents grew in, the days of simplicity when – faces, people, culture, hobbies, music, dances, movies, relationships, families, bread running, home, environment, roads, markets, enjoyment, sky, ocean, forests, vacations, excursion , smiles, laughter, loss and well almost everything else was so linear. As I started looking through the pictures which began getting printed in color labs, they were tangled, incredibly crowded, rich to be compared and not as much cherished, fake smiles, poses, less green leaves, muddier water of oceans, sky so invisible in high rise structures, vacations looked more of a haste to explore the world outside home country to be discussed in those ‘elite’ high tea conversations. Bread running turned to cultivation of ‘Career’ occupying most part of life, relationships seemed now broken and fragile and at occasions totally absconding! Parents with crisis of time and patience for kids. Warm home turned to be a cold house constantly gazing at me with sarcastic smile, constant struggle of getting better and far better! Well really from whom and for what?
While colors added lot of aspects to life, they brought dynamic civilization with them and needed extreme lot of coordination to set right shades with each other else they look chaotic, noisy, out of sync and just not appealing! This sequence demands energy and focus, more complex planning methods. Just when we were not even exposed to all shades of grey, black and white, we added several new colors and now it’s all so complicated wired.
I have a minimalist personality and I just want to stick to three colors black, white and gray and their several shades because I don’t want to crave for race but crave and action for competing against myself to be better human being in my all human aspects of conduct, behavior, responsibilities, thought process and actions- little higher on my scale for myself as compared to each previous precious day.

You abstained me from your visibility-

25 May

One year post you cease to exist, I have no feelings, no pain, no tears, no cries, no sadness around. A person who thrives on emotions and well quite a lot of them goes so numb? Seems like I am still in a dilemma if you are actually no longer around! Last year this day while I was crying, was sad deep inside because it was time for me to take a flight back from Chicago to My homeland, time to be back home and sad because it was time for me to bid g’bye to the extended family I made with my hotel stay at US, you were saying g’bye to my immediate family here back home. Me so unaware, so hidden, so away, so in dark. For me as the flight landed on 27th May I did not touch the ground but I got dumped in a hollow. It’s like a black hole so dark yet not black but grey. You lived a very silent life and you vanished silently. For me your existence then and now is silence. Sorry I could not make it on 25th May my Granny when you so much wanted me to be around to witness the last smile on your face. I never knew you were surrendering to God of Non-existence. You were so strong my Granny that your approaching age was shadowed by your will and strength to live-making me scorned that it’s time for you to go away. For me you abstained your visibility.

Lost my Granny on May 25th 2011 while I was out of my homeland. I was exposed to this loss only on my arrival back on May 27th 2011.

iOS latest version has bug which freezes ‘HOME’ button

20 May
I adored you, loved you, sensitized my senses for you, dreamt with you of you, walked with you, traveled, reposed, refreshed, simmered down with you in an environment around to be with you in your world, I created a cozy corner for you at home at work and in my heart! Got colorful surprises for you! My conversations with you and with others were about you. Defended you, shielded you, fought endless effortless for you but never with you!
My twinkling eyes had you shining always, then and now! And now my beloved, just now when I surrendered all my thoughts, plans, dependence, existence, companionship to you, you betrayed me for new love of yours. Why my love, why my IPhone! Why did you shift your focus from my love for you to updated iOS who does not let me use you enough, who creates a jail for me by being a barrier through the home button. Seems like it has allured the home button that I no more can get access to all the beautiful Apps you gifted me with. It creates rift between us my love as I am no more able to converse with you smooth. I know you hate me for pressing the home button hard to exit from active app but iOS has left no choice for us. I tried counseling through Apple help forums my love to save this ultimate sweet relationship I have had with you of which I have been so proud and world has been so jealous but my love no one has been able to come to the rescue successfully! As this goes into a coma stage honey, I wait here with patience for you to come back to me with same accessible love and world of Apps!

PS: iOS latest version has bug which freezes ‘HOME’ button blocking you from exit of currently active application hence leading to a jail environment where button will respond only when it wants to and until then you can do nothing with the phone (unless you are OK with switching off the phone and switching on with every freeze). None of the forums have been helpful so far and hue and cry of the issue seem to mark the fire in almost all available Apple forums. Got a solution? I am still looking for one!

Rains I did not adore –

19 May

*Hot* if referred to anything but weather is pretty magnetic and HIGH a word basis our ‘fashiontech’ global village! Yeah I made a new one right there with Fashion and Technology combined 😉 however  my this writing is neither about vibrant fashion nor about wired (well nowadays not so wired though) technology.
My city was enjoying most unexpected rains at the time when during any natural season it is soaring high temperatures of 40• and above. They were mesmerized with pleasant temperatures and mercury hitting real low. Couples went romancing, Children went cycling, Households went happy around no usage of air conditioners and reduced electricity bills.
Smiles all around.
There I was sitting not able to enjoy no piece of this rain. Scorching heat* I missed you then and now as my city is cooler than natural summers this time. I wanted sun to rise and sun to shine bright enough that we complain like any other previous seasons – yet bear it. I wanted hot winds to blow sharp enough that our thirst for water never quenches like any other previous summer. I wanted trees to shed leaves, cotton balls to burst and fly. For first time that I remember I missed summer so bad and yes I could not take even a single drop of that rain or mercury dropping on temperature bars. I wanted to let go all celebrations. My face horror struck and my soul veiled with guilt.

In one of the random conversations that day I expressed my concern to fellow conversationalist around global warming and despising the existence  of unnatural weather cooling marked by rain pours. I was complimented to be a reader and thinker and they retreated back to the weather celebrations again.  Our vicious circle of voraciously using all the products – bi product of which are Global warming agents, is no more slow but super windy poison. If we don’t use electronics like air conditioners and refrigerators, we won’t survive for long one way and if we keep using them for our survival we will not survive Nature’s way.

We – part of vicious circle, then and now.

Aei Mann

19 May

Aei Mann tu itna khush mat ho
Kyunki jab jab tu khush hota hai
Tab tab darr yeh Lagta hai
Ki kya Hoga agar udasi fir chayegi
Kya hoga agar raat kaali fir aayegi
Kya Hoga agar Mann fir tutega
Tujhe rone se fir kaun rokega
Kaun tujhe fir sambhalega mann
Kaun barsaayega pyar tujh par mann
Kaun tujhe fir baandhega
Nahin mann, tu itna khush mat ho
Kaun tujhe fir thamega?
Aei Mann tu itna khush kyun hota hai
Har choti baat par fir tu rota hai
Nahin Mann tu khud ko sambhaal
Tol kar khushiyon ko
Sambhal sambhal kar jeevan ki jholi mein daal
Aei Mann tu khush Kyun hota hai
Ek veerana kona abhi bhi rota hai…

‘Jar’ clean ups…Life clean ups?

14 May

While watching a 60’s movie today and see Tabassum sizzle in Navy Blue chiffon Saree, I could not get away from the remark that Saree left in my thoughts. As my brother always say “You have an impressionist mind”. And then throughout the movie I kept getting amazed with her various chiffon Sarees. Later thought told me what caught my attention in those Sarees? It was the beautiful fabric painting that all those colorful pieces of chiffon had which were so mesmerizing – then and now! But still why did they mesmerize me? Because they took me back to those days when my mother used to paint as much beautifully on pieces of cloth. It started with handkerchief and kept changing with course of her life – table tops, cushion covers, curtains, Sarees, shirts for my Father post marriage, baby frocks and sheets post my birth, some more clothing as I grew to be her doll and then? I can’t recall exactly when all those fabric painted cloths started disappearing. Then all I remember is shift to branded clothing that we started buying. Those gorgeously beautiful hand painted flowers with crisp contentment to them no more appeared around me. Jar of creativity in my Mother’s life is now filled with concern and settlement of future. Its glass walls reflect dense wires of questions and anticipation. This jar keeps staring at me and asks “what will you satiate me with to bring freshness back?”
My answer to the jar today is “I’ll search my house high and low to get those Sarees/Shirts/bed covers/pillow covers/handkerchief and put them in front of my mother telling her Maa let’s empty the jar of creativity, wash it, rinse it, make it shine (and it will sparkle like one of those dish washer soap advertisement and go *tinn*) and refill with crisp creativity yet again. Lets use the old, rusted not in use jar to stuff dense wires of questions and anticipation because I know you won’t throw them away.” And then I’ll keep both the jars together making both gain equal attention but one not replacing the other.

Do you need ‘Jar clean up’ as well?